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LIVING WITH PURPOSE   HAPPY FEBRUARY! 

Volume II

February 2008

 CHANGELast month we looked at the stages of change.  I’ll remind you of those changes based upon the book “Changing for Good” by Prochaska, Norcross, and Diclelmente.  They are as follows: Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintenance, and Termination.Our focus this month is Precontemplation.  By the way, people who initiate change for themselves, don’t just pass through these stages in a nice smooth linear move.  Most successful changers slip up at times in their quest and return to earlier stages such as the contemplation or even the precontemplation stage, before moving on to success.If you find yourself in the Precontemplation stage, you may be thinking thoughts such as…“It’s everyone else who needs to change”.  Those who want to take on healthier habits such as exercise may put their energies into wishful thinking such as “if only my husband would help with the kids I could have more time for myself”.  When in fact we have no real control over what other’s do.  A precontemplator might make themselves feel better by eating chips waiting for the other person to be more helpful. Precontemplators may hold onto myths such as “I’ve tried everything and nothing works”, “life has passed me by, I am doomed to stay like this forever.” Characteristic of this stage are 1. Denial and minimizing, 2. Rationalization, 3. Self blame depression, helplessness, and 4. Anger towards others. Most precontemplators need help from others to move out of this stage.  Conscious raising, knowledge, and self-awareness are helpful at this stage.  This may come in the form of your doctor saying something like, “Your obesity is going to take your life at some point”.  The first step to changing anything is to become aware of it.    Also becoming aware of the mental tricks or defenses we use can help us move towards change.  During this stage it is important to not push anyone into change.  Those who are available to help precontemlators need to be available to talk and listen to them.  As a precontemplator you can let others know that you need to talk, get feedback, feel cared for etc. As you are able to identify your defenses by becoming open with other (safe) people you may be getting ready for the next stage of change contemplation.  Remember change is possible!!! TOOLSSocial networks are a wonderful resource during this stage of change.  Becoming involved in socially supportive environments such as Church Groups, 12 Step programs, Weight Watchers, Women’s Small Group Bible Studies, and Prayer Groups etc. can be helpful.  Being involved with others who are seeking knowledge and self-awareness in their own lives can be of great benefit in your quest for change.      QUOTES OF THE MONTHThe teaching of a wise person gives life.  It is like a fountain that can save people from death.   Proverbs 13:14   Drastic change creates an estrangement from the self, and generates a need for a new birth of a new identity.  And it perhaps depends on the way this need is satisfied whether the process of change runs smoothly or is attended with convulsions and explosions.Eric HofferThe Temper of Our Time  INQUIRYAn Inquiry is a question or questions I will leave with you each month for you to contemplate.  I hope it will bring you closer to LIVING WITH PURPOSE.  What are you settling for?FEEDACK I value your feedback.  Please feel free to express yourself! MARLA BOX, M.ED., LPCLIFE COACH/LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELORwww.marlabox.com210-218-8044SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS If you would like to unsubscribe at anytime, please send me an email with UNSUSCRIBE  in the subject line. Please send this newsletter on to anyone you believe would want to see it! Thank you  

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