INQUIRYWhat part of your soul needs to crawl out of its hiding place?

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Please send this on to anyone you believe would want to see it!

MARCH 2008

LIVING WITH PURPOSE

CHANGES

The focus this month is the stage of Preparation or “Getting Ready” stage.  My source of information is still the book “Changing For Good”, by Prochaske, Morcross, and Diclemente Collins 2002.

The success of most long-term projects is in large measure due to patient preparation; most successful self-change projects is in large measure due to patient preparation; most successful self-change projects similarly rely on a sometimes brief but always thoughtful period or preparation.  “This is where you focus on the best action you will take to make your change.”

We find out in this stage that just admitting “I have a problem” is not enough to change it This is a time to focus on your future and your “future self”.

TOOLS

Make a list of benefits of the change, and keep it where you can see it all day.  Maybe post it in several places (the bathroom mirror, the car, the refridgerator, on your desk).

Making this change be at the top of your priority list is essential.  Make the change because  you want and choose to.  Do not let others set your goals for you.

Now is the time to have faith in your ability to change.  Anxiety is highly likely at this stage.

Suggested steps by the authors:  take small steps;

                                                           set a date for the change;

                                                           go public with your commitment-you can let your supporters know how they can be most helpful to you;

                                                           Prepare for a major operation-you must put this first for now and other areas of your life may suffer for awhile

                                                            Make your own action plan-something specific you believe in;

Doing the work in each stage is important to success.  Some want to rush to the action stage, but this can lower your chances of success.

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

“If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself”

Norman Vincent Peale

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world”

Mahatma Gandhi

INQUIRY

An inquiry is a question or questions I will leave with you each month for you to contemplate.  I hope it will bring you closer to LIVING WITH PURPOSE.

How can you make change more fun?

FEEDBACK

I value your feedback.  Please feel free to express yourself!

Marla Box, M. Ed., LPC

Executive and Life Coach/Licensed Professional Counselor

www.marlabox.com

210-218-8044

San Antonio, Texas

10.  Be involved with what is important to you.

9.  Have fun!

8.  Exercise (see doctor first)

7.  Eat healthy foods.

6.  Have Friends!

5.  Relax (not relaxing does not help)

4.  Love yourself and others

3.  Breathe deeply during the day.

2.  Pray and meditate.

1.  Know your God.

What keeps you out of truthful action?

What would get you moving?

Volume II

February 2008

 CHANGELast month we looked at the stages of change.  I’ll remind you of those changes based upon the book “Changing for Good” by Prochaska, Norcross, and Diclelmente.  They are as follows: Precontemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintenance, and Termination.Our focus this month is Precontemplation.  By the way, people who initiate change for themselves, don’t just pass through these stages in a nice smooth linear move.  Most successful changers slip up at times in their quest and return to earlier stages such as the contemplation or even the precontemplation stage, before moving on to success.If you find yourself in the Precontemplation stage, you may be thinking thoughts such as…“It’s everyone else who needs to change”.  Those who want to take on healthier habits such as exercise may put their energies into wishful thinking such as “if only my husband would help with the kids I could have more time for myself”.  When in fact we have no real control over what other’s do.  A precontemplator might make themselves feel better by eating chips waiting for the other person to be more helpful. Precontemplators may hold onto myths such as “I’ve tried everything and nothing works”, “life has passed me by, I am doomed to stay like this forever.” Characteristic of this stage are 1. Denial and minimizing, 2. Rationalization, 3. Self blame depression, helplessness, and 4. Anger towards others. Most precontemplators need help from others to move out of this stage.  Conscious raising, knowledge, and self-awareness are helpful at this stage.  This may come in the form of your doctor saying something like, “Your obesity is going to take your life at some point”.  The first step to changing anything is to become aware of it.    Also becoming aware of the mental tricks or defenses we use can help us move towards change.  During this stage it is important to not push anyone into change.  Those who are available to help precontemlators need to be available to talk and listen to them.  As a precontemplator you can let others know that you need to talk, get feedback, feel cared for etc. As you are able to identify your defenses by becoming open with other (safe) people you may be getting ready for the next stage of change contemplation.  Remember change is possible!!! TOOLSSocial networks are a wonderful resource during this stage of change.  Becoming involved in socially supportive environments such as Church Groups, 12 Step programs, Weight Watchers, Women’s Small Group Bible Studies, and Prayer Groups etc. can be helpful.  Being involved with others who are seeking knowledge and self-awareness in their own lives can be of great benefit in your quest for change.      QUOTES OF THE MONTHThe teaching of a wise person gives life.  It is like a fountain that can save people from death.   Proverbs 13:14   Drastic change creates an estrangement from the self, and generates a need for a new birth of a new identity.  And it perhaps depends on the way this need is satisfied whether the process of change runs smoothly or is attended with convulsions and explosions.Eric HofferThe Temper of Our Time  INQUIRYAn Inquiry is a question or questions I will leave with you each month for you to contemplate.  I hope it will bring you closer to LIVING WITH PURPOSE.  What are you settling for?FEEDACK I value your feedback.  Please feel free to express yourself! MARLA BOX, M.ED., LPCLIFE COACH/LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELORwww.marlabox.com210-218-8044SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS If you would like to unsubscribe at anytime, please send me an email with UNSUSCRIBE  in the subject line. Please send this newsletter on to anyone you believe would want to see it! Thank you  

It seems this is what many of us begin every New Year with….the desire and quest to CHANGE something about ourselves.

In Prochaska, Norcross, and Diclemente’s book “Changing For Good”,  their theory is you pass through stages to accomplish CHANGE.  The stages are as follows:

Precontemplation or resisting change;

Contemplation, where chronic contemplators substitute thinking for action, sometimes for years.

Preparation, in which the decisions you made in the previous stage give rise to specific steps you will take;

Action, where the movement begins.  Often success in this stage depends upon combining a variety of techniques;    and then the

Maintenance stage, this stage takes all of the work done in the Action and builds on it.

In future newsletters, I will give you more information on each stage.  It may be helpful to identify which stage you believe you are in.

CHANGES are often accompanied by GOALS, which need to include a few ingredients to be successful.  A way to remember these ingredients is SMART:

SPECIFIC - clear, easy, doable;  EXAMPLE:  I will include 3 fruits in my daily meals.

MEASURABLE - I will keep a written food journal daily and record each time I eat a fruit.

ATTAINABLE - This needs to be something you can do, something within your reach.  I also believe ACCOUNTABILITY fits here as well.  Reaching GOALS will more likely happen if you are working with others and not going it alone.

REALISTIC - Hear it means doable.  REWARDS are important as well.  When you have accomplished your goal have an appropriate reward waiting for you!

TIMELY - Put an end point for you goal, a time you will have done it by.

TOOLS

Helpful tools can be things such as Journals - a place to write things down.  The Internet can be helpful as well.  Websites such as web-MD can be a resource for knowledge.  Thee are several websites to journal on where you can find partners who are making the same changes you want to make such as Weight Watchers.  If slipping into old patterns happens (and it likely will) try to avoid all or none thinking such a “Well I messed up, so I may as well scrap the whole thing:.  This is a lie and you can begin again at anytime.  All is not lost.

Of course another helpful tool is COACHING!  Please feel free to call me.  The gift of a complimentary coaching session may be one of the most fruitful choices you make in your quest for CHANGE!

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl.

Proverbs 25:11

INQUIRY

An Inquiry is a question or questions I will leave with you each month for you to contemplate.  I hope it will bring you closer to LIVING WITH PURPOSE!

WHAT ARE YOUR OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE NEW YEAR?

WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK FROM LIVING WITH PURPOSE?

FEEDBACK

I value your feedback.  Please feel free to express yourself!

 We make life more complicated than it has to be.  There are no written rules that say we have to “do it all” or “have it all”.  Whether it is us loading ourselves up with “have to’s” or others who decide what our life needs to be, You can take  charge or YOUR life. 

 You do have the power to decide for yourself.  Still there is so much information and so many choices out there, where do you begin?

 Maybe you begin with noting where your focus is in life.  What/Who is your god?  Is it the neighbors and what they have, is it the newest technology, is it being the best at …….., Is it looking a certain way, is it your relationship(s) is it having a certian amount of money?

I believe to be truly focused and be able to decide what is important to us in life and what direction we follow, we must decide what we are really seeking.  What/Who will meet our deepest needs?

How will you decide?  What does your life say about who/what  your god is?

Take inventory of what is really important to you and what your focus needs to be to get there.

Who/what will you serve in life?  It is an important question to ask and to answer.  The answer to this question shapes your entire existence.